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Eric's Podcast
Welcome to Eric's Podcast – a journey through faith, life, and the lessons that shape us. Join Eric as he shares personal stories, reflections, shares insights that inspire hope and encourages. Whether you're navigating life's challenges or seeking motivation this podcast offers a blend of authenticity, inspiration, and thought-provoking conversations.
New episodes drop every week! Don't forget to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell to stay connected on this journey of faith and discovery. Let’s walk this path together.
Eric's Podcast
#7 - Special Guest - Steven Griffin and His Journey Building a business while navigating a family & faith.
What if the toughest moments in your life were actually opportunities in disguise? Join us as we explore this idea with Steven Griffin, a devoted father and entrepreneur, whose journey of faith and personal growth offers a captivating look into the power of forgiveness and divine guidance. Stephen's compelling tale begins with the writing of his book "Victim's Cry," a 12-year endeavor fueled by a divine calling, showcasing how faith helped him navigate the stormy seas of marriage, business, and self-reflection.
The heart of Stephen’s narrative lies in the transformative power of letting go and trusting a higher power. Through candid reflections, he shares how faith played a crucial role in overcoming the pain of separation and the challenges of a troubled marriage. His story also touches on unexpected career paths and divine interventions, demonstrating how faith-driven leaps can lead to unforeseen blessings and opportunities. Stephen’s experiences are a testament to the unpredictable, yet rewarding, journey of aligning one's life with spiritual guidance.
Our conversation also emphasizes the importance of nurturing familial bonds and healing from past traumas. Stephen recounts how counseling helped him address childhood issues, improve his relationships, and become a better father and husband. From workplace challenges to personal anecdotes of grace and accountability, Stephen illustrates the profound impact of patience, forgiveness, and spiritual reliance in resolving life's conflicts. Tune in to witness how faith and perseverance can bring clarity and peace amidst life’s complexities.
Eric's Podcast.
Hello, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the Eric's Podcast. I'm your host, Eric, and today I am honored to be joined by Stephen Griffin, who is a father, an entrepreneur and a follower of Jesus, and he has some great stories to tell us how he got into his entrepreneurship, how the Lord showed up for him and his path, of how he got through tough times and how his fate shaped the way that he looks at life and the way that he approaches business. So thank you for joining me today. How are you doing.
Speaker 2:Thank you, eric, going great. Just finished my smoothie that your mother made. It was very tasty.
Speaker 1:Awesome. So I guess what we'll do is I'll just start us off with a question we know well. I know that you wrote a book called Victim's Cry and that spanned it from about what was it? A 10-year period of time.
Speaker 2:I think so. Yeah, I started in 2002. And then that's when I felt like the Lord said I want you to write a book, and then I think I finally got it published in 2014. So it was about 12 years, I think, that I was working on it.
Speaker 1:How did you get to the place to write a book on it?
Speaker 2:How did you get to the place to write a book? How did that come about? Well, the whole purpose for writing the book was God taught me. Well, I can go back to the beginning If you want to go back a little ways. When I got married, I had a lot of hopes, put a lot of hope into my wife and the marriage and everything being my life would be better forever. And then I had all these high expectations. Well, those expectations were not being met, at least not in my opinion, and I was not a Christian at the time and I did not treat your mother well.
Speaker 2:Now you did introduce me as father. I don't know if I'm supposed to speak as if I'm your father or not, but that is the fact father or not, but that is the fact. But yeah, so I spent the first 10 years or so. I became a Christian when 1993. So I was about 27 years old Actually, it was early 94. And then things started changing and I can, if you want, to ask me later on about how I became a Christian. That'd be something to talk about for a few minutes too.
Speaker 2:But as far as the book goes, I was not a good husband. I was not a very good father. I was least in my opinion there and I was not a good person because I was holding on to a lot of grudges. I was holding on to a lot of hurts and disappointments and offenses and anything which was dragging me down and causing me to be an unpleasant fellow to be with, unless I was putting on a facade, going to church and being all everything's fine and great, but at home I was yeah, so we were not. So anyway.
Speaker 1:Quick question how do you know if if say that you, you okay, you're newly married, you've been married for a little while, or even you're in a relationship, how do you know that? And you can see that things are going like there's some kind of standoffish thing going on or happening, but how do you know that you are the one bearing the, that you have something against the person, because I mean things. You can go on and on for a long time and almost not even understand like it's you, you're the issue or the problem here, like you're holding something on. How do you know what does that feel like? Or how do you know that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, good question. So for me, I didn't learn this until 11 years after we got married, after your mother left me, because I was being such a jerk I thought it was all her fault, so it was only after I was looking for help. After she left, I was devastated and I'm sitting there asking God, because, of course, I've been a Christian for about seven years. I'm asking God, you know what's going on, what do I need to do? Why is she leaving me? Well, I got into a place where I was dependent on God. See, I had depended on my wife to be my life and put my hope for happiness in her. And so when I put her on that pedestal and she did something that was not what I thought the pedestal person should do, I was disappointed in her reaction and I held that against her for many, many years. And then God showed me that it was my fault for holding things against her.
Speaker 2:And what happens is and you want you ask the question about how do you know when you're holding something when you can, when you look at a person and you don't see beauty, you don't see respectability. If you don't see, you know happy, you know a person that you really want to be with. If you're not happy to be with the person, then that's normally because you're holding something against them, or at least that's for me in my case. That's usually the reason. Of course, a negative person is going to bring everybody down, you know. That's just the way people can be. But when you know that you can't look at a person, you don't wish them well, you don't think they're attractive anymore, then generally it seems to me in my experience that that's because you're holding things against them. So that's what I had been doing.
Speaker 2:So it took about a month for me to go through a list of things that God showed me that I had held against my wife and let those go, each one of those issues, whether I looked at it like I wrote it on a piece of paper and marked it off and said I'm letting this go. I'm giving this to you, lord, and one of the things that I have to remind myself over and over is that God's word says that what Jesus said, that come to me when you're weary and burdened and I will give you rest. And so that's one. And then there's another one where it's cast all your cares on me because you know he, our own God, because he cares for you. And there's another one that I remembered a lot.
Speaker 2:Well, one is Psalm 69, nine the insults of those who insult you fall on me. And then one of the last ones was the, where Paul said in Ephesians you know, your battle is not against flesh and blood, it's not against your wife, your battle is against the spiritual forces of darkness that come along and try to break up your family, break up your marriage. So, after thinking through all these nice little verses, I'm like, ok, I'm putting this together. And God said it is mine to avenge, I will repay, says Yahweh. So it's like, ok, the insults of those who insult me fall on you. So in order for them to fall, I have to let them go. And so that's what I had to learn to do.
Speaker 2:Some people say well, why don't God take them away? Because he's not going to do that. We have to consciously, spiritually, let things go in order for God to take them, for them to fall on him and his account, and then he takes it from there. It's like we're holding the evidence and we're concealing the evidence of being done wrong when we hold grudges, because our natural, since we're created in the image of God. Our natural inclination is to want to see justice served, and God is a God of justice and it's his job, as he said, it is mine to avenge. I will repay. So when someone hurts us, it's not.
Speaker 2:Some people say, oh, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, that's like. Well, that's what the God told Moses to do. After there had been a trial where there had been two or more witnesses who bring evidence to the judge, who then makes the decision after finding the person guilty, then that's the sentence that God issued. You know, an eye for an eye, two for two. It's not ever our place to judge those who hurt us. In fact, jesus even said bless those who persecute you, bless those who hurt you. In fact, jesus even said bless those who persecute you, bless those who hurt you.
Speaker 1:So it's not ever our place as individuals to act as judges against the people we blame for troubles. So when you go back to letting it go, we're taught to say I'm sorry. We're taught to say oh, I forgive you, and it seems to be that as far as it goes. But is there more to what's happening, like what's actually happening, or is it just the words that matter?
Speaker 2:Oh no, there's a good question. There's a lot more that goes into it. That's why it's a process. I mean sometimes. I mean, if somebody cuts you off in traffic, you say a few words, you make a few gestures, and then you can choose to either hold on to that and continue thinking thoughts that are bad toward the person whose car is now in front of you, or you can choose to say God, I'm changing my mind, I'm not going to hold this against them, I'm going to let this go, I'm going to drop it, knowing that it falls onto your docket of activity or whatever you want to call it. And then, all of a sudden, you feel lightweight, you feel lighthearted, you don't have the grudge, you don't have the compulsion to judge and condemn the person anymore because, after you have specifically identified what it was that you held because of their action and basically anytime somebody acts in a certain way, we all have a choice based on our belief system and our upbringing, whatever Whether or not we're going to hold a grudge and hold it against them or we're going to trust God to work it out. And even, I believe, if you're not a Christian, when you let go, just like somebody just came to my door. I don't think they ring the doorbell, but hold on just a second here. Okay, thank you. Thank you too. Sorry for that. All right, but yeah, it's a conscious decision.
Speaker 2:Basically, our natural inclination is to want to judge and condemn those who do the wrong thing, because we want to see things done fairly, and so for me, I've been. It took. Well, the reason I wrote the book is because God had to show me exactly how to forgive, how to identify, because Jesus spoke of forgiving people and he spoke of forgiving offenses, and so there's two different things. In order to forgive a person, you have to first identify and release any offense that you're holding against that person, because as long as you hold on to an offense or hurt or disappointment, you're going to naturally feel compelled to judge and condemn the person, and so that's why you write down. You know, when it came to my case, I wrote down on a piece of paper, a full sheet of paper, one line at a time, the things I was holding against anybody, because whether you're holding against your spouse or your parents or some friend or some you know enemy person, basically up a bully or whatever, then that's going to weigh you down and cause you to see through eyes that are full of bitterness and resentment.
Speaker 2:And so, all of a sudden, where you might have used to have been a positive person, your outlook on life and your yourself will be very bitter because of holding and carrying things after a number of years. You know, when people turn around 30 years old, generally they're they're starting to reevaluate their life because they're feeling like life, so you know, not as good and fulfilling as they had hoped it would be. And they found out oh, I've been carrying things against my parents, I've been carrying things against my brother and sister or whatever, and you got to work through that stuff. And you don't have to contact the person because but it is easier if they apologize for doing what they did. But it's not necessary for them to apologize, it's only necessary that you identify exactly what it is uh, an incident in the past.
Speaker 1:So the cool thing yeah, I was going to ask. So going back to when you're writing your book and over a 12 or 10-year period, at the same time you had kids and you had a business to manage and put food on the table and all of that, and at the same time your wife left. You Describe how you got through that. How did you get through it?
Speaker 2:Well, there's another something that I haven't told too many people. But the thing is, when we were separated, when she left me and that was devastating enough but then when she went to move in with a co-worker, that was basically the end of it for me. I was never going to get back into the marriage. I expected the marriage to end in divorce and one of us would just go our separate ways, which would of course not. You know, that would have devastated the family. But four times actually, I counted, because Paul said three times he pleaded with the Lord to take away that spirit of fear that tormented him. But four times I actually asked the Lord.
Speaker 2:You know, this is so hard, seeing my wife at work every day with this co-worker who she's now living with, and it became a point of just I was, I was, I ended up being, let's see, I'm, I'm quick to hold a grudge, I'm quick to take an offense. So I'd find myself, whenever I took a, took up an offense, I would feel a distance between me and the Lord, and he would I'd be like, oh, because he was the only best friend, he was the best, he became the best friend I had ever had my wife I thought would be my best friend, who would never let me down, the best friend I had ever had. My wife, I thought, would be my best friend, who would never let me down. But then she let me down and I had to turn to somebody and God was the only person who was there for me and has never let me down. So I became so dependent on maintaining, you know, remaining in his presence that whenever I did something that disconnected me from the heart of God, I felt it and it was very real.
Speaker 2:So I would insult my wife, I would insult the fella, I would do something out of just a second feeling of just not niceness, unkind anyway, and then immediately I'd feel myself, distance myself from the Lord and I'd be like, oh, I'd go sit in my car and I'd be like what's wrong? He said well, you just insulted that person. You need to go back and make it right. I'm like so many times I went back and I apologized several minutes later for being rude, for being unkind, for saying so and so, and I'm sorry, and I'd go back and then I'd feel back to my lighthearted self and things would go well. The person would be stunned and wondering who are you. I've done this to you and you're now coming to me apologizing to me because you know they just felt like they deserved to be, you know, spoken bad of, but anyway.
Speaker 2:So that's where the relationship with God became the best of times with me during those two years that we were separated. And during the first couple of months that we were separated, god showed me it was my fault primarily 90% for the way the marriage had turned out because of not loving my wife and, like I said, since I was holding grudges against her, I couldn't feel the love, I couldn't see her as attractive and I go back and see pictures of her back in those days thinking, wow, she's gorgeous. And yet back then I didn't feel the, I wasn't attracted to her in that way and so because of the grudges. So anyway, throughout the years it just became okay. Now I learned during that two year span to really that I could trust God, that he was there for me, that he spoke to me, that he would teach me and show me which way to go. And, unlike any person on this earth who can make mistakes, god has never made a mistake.
Speaker 2:But every time, like I said, I'll go back to the four times I pleaded with him hey, I need to get, send me out of town, whatever. And four times he said this marriage will not end in divorce. Out of town, whatever. And four times he said this marriage will not end in divorce. And so I'm like, okay.
Speaker 2:But at early stages I was thinking, well, somebody must be going to die and that would basically end the marriage without divorce. But thankfully God had a better plan in the marriage. So every time I'd go and say I'm ready to give up. This is too hard. He said, don't worry, this marriage will not end in divorce. So in the end he was faithful and like he always is. And that's where you asked early on about faith how faith has brought me through things and faith. According to Hebrews, in my experience, faith comes by hearing God's voice and then choosing to believe what you hear him say, and then you act on it, and then you see God's faithfulness in reality shaping up in your life, and so that's exactly what he said. I can go into an example about our first company in that same way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, go into how you got into the business and and a little bit of uh, you know what led up to that. Do that?
Speaker 2:because, yeah, so after I became a Christian, then I wanted to do what God wanted me to do and I would trust him. So you know, when I felt like he was sending us in one direction, that I'd quit my job and go in that direction, and then it would be like, oh, this doesn't, this ain't working out like I hoped, it would Go back and start over, go back. And then my wife, your mother, would be like, oh, I think we should do this. And I wasn't at that time really committed to only doing what I felt like the Lord was saying to do, and so I would just listen to whatever she said and do whatever she said. But a lot of what she said was based on emotions and based on her own senses of security, where she felt like she'd be safer and around people who loved her more. I think was probably a lot of it because she didn't get that much from me, but she did get it a lot from her friends. So anyway, through 1996, we moved six times across the state of North Carolina and that was just it for me. I'm like all right, no more of this From now on. We're going to pray, we're going to pray together and we're going to see what God says, because this idea of just going here and there because it makes sense or whatever is not working. So at that time in 97, 98, we started listening to God more. And then the church group we were with they were going to start a church in boone and so we were among the friends of the people who were all going to five families I think there were three, three or four families down in wilmington that went up, but the anyway angel was like oh, we're gonna, we're gonna go to boone with him'm like we're not going until the Lord says go.
Speaker 2:And so October of 99, the Lord said I believe it's 99. He said, all right, I want this time for you to go. So I'm like get ready to go where you're going to be going. So I'm like okay. And uh, in July of 99, I had I had had the best job that I had had up to that point in my life, an engineering job. It was great. And in july of 99 the boss said I have to, we have to cut your pay by 25. And it's like, wow, I was the only breadwinner in the family and so that was a big hit. But I didn't just quit the job. The lord said hang on, you'll get through this and I'll show you when it's time to move to something else. So then throughout the fall, after he said, you guys are going to go to Boone, okay.
Speaker 2:So then all the other fathers had gotten jobs in the Boone area by December and I didn't have a job yet and I didn't feel pressured, except for my wife saying you need to get a job because we're moving up when the church starts in March. And I'm like, oh God didn't say do it, I'm not doing it. So I had to.
Speaker 2:Basically, those experiences I had had, we had had together and just had taught me that I needed to be more focused on God and what he's saying, so that I don't run my family all over the place for no good reason. So those experiences actually proved to be learning experiences, which was good. So by this time now I'm ready to only trust God. I'm going to lean on him for everything, not trust in my own understanding. So then we were driving through uh, uh, blowing rock there in early 99, like January, and I saw a vision of me managing properties and doing maintenance on properties for homeowners who had homes in blowing rock area but lived in places like Charlotte or Florida or wherever, and I got excited. I was like, yay, something jumped in my spirit and said, yay, this is what you're, this is what I'd love to do. And then I started thinking and then I thought, well, it's going to take a lot of money and I don't, and I've got to stay busy.
Speaker 1:I can't, I got bills, and you didn't have any experience either to even know how to even manage a business or anything.
Speaker 2:No, I didn't have experience managing a property, but I did have experience gutter cleaning and roofing and maintenance maintenance on my car, maintenance on my house so I could handle maintenance and also did roofing work. Yeah, when I was in college, you know, with your father I mean your grandfather then I was working with him, so I had to, I mean, and God had brought me through and there's another long list of stories, I'm not going to sit there and go through it but yeah, I'd be driving through life and God would speak to me and that's how my whole journey started actually. But I don't want to jump off the tracks and move down a path. But that was my salvation experience was another journey. That's a really, really cool story. But back to the other story. There we were in 99, saw myself having this property management position, which was awesome, but then I'm like I can't do it. Lord, if you want it to happen, you'll have to do it. I just have to have a job that pays. And that was probably his plan. He just planted the seed because two, two and a half years later, so I ended up getting a job.
Speaker 2:Actually, we were driving back to Wilmington from Boone one weekend in January when the Lord said it's time for you to get your job, I'm like cool. So I felt like I was supposed to pick up a Hickory paper, Hickory Daily Record, and look through the one ads, and I found two in there. One was C-Core for an engineering position and one was Comscope for an engineering position. And the Comscope position looked great because it was an equipment engineer, which is what I had been doing as an engineer, doing automation, building machines, designing machines, drawing up the drawings for the machine parts and all that. So the equipment engineer was perfectly suited for me since I had that experience.
Speaker 2:And so anyway, so I called, I sent in my resume and then they called me for an interview, went to the interview, got the job and, because we had moved so many times in the past, I told the Lord. I said, well, I don't want to pack up, I don't want to move anything. I don't want, I want somebody else to do it all. I'm tired of boxing up stuff and packing up stuff and I want a house that I can. You know, I want to end up in a house with a creek and I want to have a nice house and a fireplace and all this stuff. So it turns out that the company made me an offer. They were paying a $5,000 sign on bonus. They paid for all the moving expenses for Grable Van Lines to come in, pack everything up, put everything in their truck, keep it all in storage while we found the house. So they put us up in a condominium there in Hickory while we were looking for a house and six weeks later we had closed on our house in Lenore and then moved in and it has the creek and the fireplace and all the good stuff that I had asked for, and so that was really cool.
Speaker 2:And then two years really cool. And then two years. Yeah, it was two years after that 2000. Yeah, the year was 2000. Okay, yeah, it was 2000. So it must've been 98 and 99 was the winter.
Speaker 2:Anyway, this was two years after that initial time, two and a half years after that initial vision of CME, the property management. So some people in the new church that we had started with the other families owned a real estate company in Blowing Rock and they said they were looking for a manager. Now this was the year 2000. It's an election year. People don't spend like they do in a non-election year. They're very cautious with how they spend. So their business had dropped off to very low numbers and they were struggling and they were looking to offload the property management side of the business because the sales side was a little more lucrative and profitable than the property management took too many people to run it. So they were looking for somebody and the owner of the business was looking to sell the business to some, to the previous owner. The previous owner of the business had come to him and said hey, I'd like to buy the business and I'll give you two hundred thousand dollars for the business. And they were to have a meeting on Saturday, but on Friday, and this was in May.
Speaker 2:But on Friday, and this was in May, yeah, it was in May. But on Friday the owner Bernie he felt like the Lord told him don't meet with I can't remember his name the other guy. Don't meet with him until you speak with the pastor of the church, the new church. We're at Pastor Tom and we. He was like well, I don't know why. Well, he just happened to have the pastor. He had just recently gotten the pastor's phone number, had it in his back pocket, so he pulled out the phone number, called up Pastor Tom. Tom said well, I'll pray about it. I have no idea why you would call. Well, the Lord would ask you to call me. Well, he told his wife, beth, about it and she said I know exactly why he called you, because that's for Stephen and Angel. And he was like OK.
Speaker 2:So then Beth told me on Sunday what had happened and gave me the business card for the property management company Blue Ridge Rentals. And I was like well, that's kind of neat. I don't know why you're giving me this card. I don't even know what property. I've never been a property manager, but I'll take it and pray about it.
Speaker 2:And then on the way home, going through Blowing Rock, at the exact spot that I had had the vision about two years prior, I saw the same vision You'll be a property manager taking care of properties for people. And I got excited. I thought maybe this is God working something out. So I called the number and I spoke with the man and he said well, let me, let you talk my wife. She's in charge of property management, so talk to Charlene. And then I felt like I was. She felt like she was hiring somebody. So I talked about my experience as an accounting. I loved accounting I was. She felt like she was hiring somebody. So I talked about my experience as an accounting I loved accounting, I have business management minor engineering degree and I thought they were looking for somebody to manage the business. So I said, should I bring a resume? Yeah, and we were to meet on Tuesday. I was taking Brent to Boy Scouts up in Boone and then we were to meet Tuesday evening.
Speaker 2:So by the time I got to the meeting at like six o'clock, maybe five o'clock, I don't know they were sitting there smiling and I'm sitting there like yeah, and they said since Sunday went, when we you spoke to us, we've been praying and we feel like the Lord is telling us to give you the company. And so I was floored, I was amazed. I mean, here they are with a real business that's got a lot of potential. And then the man went on to prophesy and we were praying and he said I feel like your company is going to touch thousands and thousands of people for good, all up and down the East Coast, and this is going to be prosperous and it's going to be a good thing. Well, that has happened since then.
Speaker 2:But it wasn't. It was a struggle at first, but then for the, and then one of the other steps that popped in was the guy who was the most spiritual, the leader in the business and the home. He ended up dying just six months after that. We had made this agreement and we had, by that time, we had signed an agreement, and so it was in writing, which was good, because he died. And then the other person, his wife. She wanted to dissolve the agreement and she wanted, since Angel and I were now separated, she wanted her and Angel to work together and kind of push me out and buy me out, or whatever they would call it. And the Lord had told me when the deal came together that this would be like Jacob getting Rachel. There would be challenges along the way, but eventually the blessing that was promised would be granted, but eventually the blessing that was promised would be granted. And so that's the way it was, with Jacob getting his father-in-law Laban, you know, giving him Leah at the wedding instead of Rachel and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:But anyway, god told me to be like that, but in the end I could trust him that he would work things out. So that's exactly what happened. So you know, when she had said and then Angel had said Angel at the same time, here we are, separated. So I had had that vision. It's going to be like Jacob.
Speaker 2:Well, she had this vision or a dream, that without me involved in the business, it would not, the blessing would not go with the business. The blessings was because of me and I was the one who God was using to bless these people and bless the company and bless everything was using to bless these people and bless the company and bless everything. So we made a great team, but it was God told my wife that it was me who the blessing was with regarding this business. So she's rejected every attempt for it to be pushed, for me to be pushed out, and therefore we stayed in. So there's that part of the story. And do you want to hear how it went after that and how we ended up? After I had promised I'd never be back with your mother, how things changed.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, we sure we can go into that.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, well, this is all about what God does in people's lives, which is cool, so anyway. So I was convinced, and it was. This was December of 2002. In April of 2002 is when I felt like the Lord said I was sitting on the front porch at the house in Lenore I want you to write a book. And I'm like, really Well, okay, well, if you'll tell me what to say, I'll write a book. I said what do you want me to call it? And he said the victim's cry. I'm like, really, it seems like a dud of a title to me, but okay, and I checked with him two or three more times and he's like, yeah, that's what I want you to call it the victim's crying. I'm like, okay, anyway, but I had learned through.
Speaker 2:You know, people will often ask me how do you know the voice of the Lord? How do you sit there and say that God's speaking to you and it's not your own brain or something? And what I found was, throughout the time that I was driving back and forth to Comscope, throughout the time that I was driving back and forth to Comscope, my mom gave me a copy of the full Bible, the NIV at the time, the 1984 version, which is the only real, accurate one in that translation, and I listened to that every day, going back and forth to my hour there and hour back to work. So I heard the Bible over and over and over, and, as I as, what I've learned is if you open up your mind, you open up your heart. Basically, you shut your mind off, more or less, but you open up your heart to listen. Then the author of the bible will speak to you and you'll learn how he speaks and the voice that he speaks in his tone is always loving, it's always instructive, it's never condemning, never harsh at all, and always loving and merciful. It's very consoling, very calming, very excellent when you hear God's voice. So I got used to hearing his voice all the time, driving back and forth listening to the word of God in his spirit, speaking to me. So then, anytime I was out and about doing anything, I could hear his same voice, it speaking to me. So then, anytime I was out and about doing anything, I could hear his same voice. I'd be like, hey, I know that voice and I know it's not me coming up with this. So I learned to hear his voice.
Speaker 2:So there I was in 2001, 2002. Yeah, the fall of 2002. And I was determined that I wasn't going to trust my wife anymore. You know she had left me and been gone and been with another man or whatever, and so I was determined that we would just be friends. We'd never get back together.
Speaker 2:Well, sometime along February or March, our pastor Sunday morning called to say I don't know why, but I feel like the Lord told me to tell you to read the book of Hosea. So I'm like the Lord told me to tell you to read the book of Hosea. So I'm like, ok, so I'd already heard Hosea a couple of times and never thought, never got much out of it, at least not consciously, but it was familiar in some ways. But it was a short read. So I read the book of Hosea Sunday morning before church and the Lord spoke to me and said I want you to take your wife back, excuse me, and I want you to trust me and take your wife back. All right, he's shown himself and I haven't even told six or 10 other stories about how he's proven himself through these years of how he is faithful and anytime he speaks, whatever he says, I can trust that he's going to pull off and it's going to be great. So take your wife back.
Speaker 2:So I changed my mind. I decided all right, I can trust you. My own opinion doesn't mean a hill of beans when God says one thing and I'm thinking another. Forget what I think. I'm going to turn and trust in God, because he's always come through. And he did as usual.
Speaker 2:So we got back together. And it was at the same time he was given her dreams that she was standing outside of this glass window with a curtain you know one of those just light white curtains that you can kind of barely see through. But she was standing behind this veil of a curtain seeing me and the family on the other side, and she was on the cold side of the good side. And so the Lord told her that she needed to come back home and let go of this life that she had gotten herself into and come back to our family, which is exactly what she did. So God has a way of working things out that we can't figure out, and that's what I've discovered through the years that he can always be trusted. So there we came back together and moved back together, and then the whole family was reunited and I was still somewhat unhealed in areas in my childhood and I can go into that next if you want to Um.
Speaker 1:I think so okay, yeah, where do we want to go into? What do we want to talk about next? We can talk a little bit about running Blue Ridge Rentals Actually, that's a good idea. Running Blue Ridge Rentals and, as being a you know, an employer employing people, have you what's what's some of? Well, what's one of your or? What are some of your biggest? What were some of your biggest struggles in terms of dealing with your employees, or what or? And dealing with people when, um, they've screwed you over?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's a good way of putting it. I mean, anyway, yeah, there were, uh, yeah, I had one contractor employee when you talk about the biggest, so I have about three things that pop. Three, maybe four, pop in my head five or six now. But, um, one of the biggest was, uh, this one contractor. We had a cleaner. He was our.
Speaker 2:You know, two of the two of our employees were trying to slowly, carefully move a washer and dryer or I think it was the washing machine. The washing machine was broken so they were going there to pick up the washing machine, take it over to be repaired, and the cleaner was there ready to leave. And the two guys were there trying to slowly maneuver the washing machine and he got frustrated because of how long it was taking him. So he just grabbed the washing machine and jerked it up and dropped it down and jerked it around and moved it over and scratched the floor all up Nice hardwood floors and moved it out onto the front porch so he could lock up and they could take it from there. And the two guys were like standing there seeing all the damage this guy was causing and they were just shaking their heads and, like you know, immediately after they left, they called to say exactly what had happened. Immediately after they left, they called to say exactly what had happened.
Speaker 2:And this fella did it. Well, when we called, when I called the next day to say, look, I've heard this happen, that was all denial. No, I never did that. No, we didn't do that. No, no, they did it. They're just trying to put the blame on somebody else. Well, I knew the two people and they were both trustworthy people. They'd never lie and put the blame on somebody else. They wouldn't do that.
Speaker 2:So I just immediately, of course, took offense. And you're just lying to me. I know it, but you're not willing to take responsibility. So I'm just having to drop it. I'm just I don't have, you don't have video proof. I can't take you by the cord. I'm not going to do that and waste my time anyway. So, lord, I just give it to you. I just prayed, lord, I just give this over to you. I feel like this person is lying. He's doing totally wrong and we'll pay to fix the, to repair the floor damage. That was done, and so that's what we did. We paid debt and got it repaired, so the homeowner's not damaged in any way. And then Lord, just do whatever. You know, you know the truth, you know the whole story, whatever.
Speaker 2:Well, two weeks later, two weeks after that incident, the man's brakes went out on his truck and he crashed into a tree and broke his leg and he was out of work for whatever six weeks or months or whatever. And so I knew at least it was my assumption that God had taken care of things and that he had taken, you know, so that employees, if they're lying, it's like I can't know 100 percent If somebody's stealing there's been another employee. There was missing money. The tip money was missing from the cleaners tip envelopes and it was one fellow was accused of coming in and stealing tips before the cleaners could arrive and when I confronted him, no, we would never do that, but he ended up losing his job and that was. You know. That was an experience. And then the other homeowners who came to us demanding that we do things had one homeownerowner get upset to me over something that I was not at fault but completely blamed me, and within a month the man had a stroke and ended up having terrible incidents. After I forgave him, one homeowner called me in a rage about something that wasn't my fault and blasted me till I felt like I had bats swimming around my head and I just had to take 30 minutes to sit in the car and just pray and ask God to get rid of, to let go of these things. And the next morning, or maybe the same afternoon, the lady called in tears saying she's sorry that she was so angry and mean toward me. And I'm like, well, that's nice, god, thank you for working that out. I don't know what he did or what he put in this lady's mind, but he fixed it. And every time that I've ever had a situation like that in business I've had, you know, god's always worked it out when I've let things go.
Speaker 2:The worst probably took us a month to get through this very stressful month when I had a man's hot tub was somehow, I don't know, not doing right. So he blamed us for his hot tub not working right. So he wanted a year's worth of maintenance fees hot tub fees refunded to him, so like $1,200 at the time. That was a bunch of money and we had no intention of paying the man back. We went to an attorney. We stressed and stressed, went to an attorney. The attorney laughed at us. He said if he was asking for more than thirty thousand dollars, then that would be something to be wondering about. But for twelve hundred dollars, just pay the man and forget about it. And so we're like, hmm well, that's one idea.
Speaker 2:So then we prayed and went to bed.
Speaker 2:Let's see, we both prayed, felt like the Lord said, just send him a check.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, okay, lord, if that's you, then we'll just send him a check.
Speaker 2:So first thing the next morning we wrote out a check, put it in the mailbox. As soon as I put the check in the mailbox, the whole cloud of darkness had lifted. It was lifted off of me and the stress between us being an angel was lifted off of us. And after that we learned what Jesus meant when he said if someone asks for your shirt, give them your shirt and your tunic or your coat. If somebody asks you to carry their stuff for one mile, then carry the stuff for two miles. And whenever somebody demands something of you, just give it to them, don't have to worry and judge and wonder why, or nothing. So after that, whenever we had some people who came to us and we were in a place to make things right, we just pray and God would say, yep, just go ahead and give it to them and be done with it. So that eliminated a lot of stress when we finally learned that lesson that the customer is not always right, but God can be trusted to make things right when we do our part.
Speaker 1:Drew. Okay, well, let's move into parenting. Well, let's move into parenting. Something that I realized last week, I think, or a couple weeks ago, was, in a way, that I was disciplining Josiah consciously, seeing how I was starting to feel in terms of his interaction with how he talks and treats Sarah Jane and how it just makes me or how it did make me upset and angry and aggravated and like why are you treating her that way? Or why are you talking to her that way? And you shouldn't be doing that. And then I'm like and so then I came into the room and I asked the Lord, can you show me what was going on and what he did? Is he?
Speaker 1:It was like an instant. This is actually what's going on, and it was. It's not how he's treating her, it's how you treated your mother and you haven't forgiven yourself for that, and that's why you're angry and that's why you're, that's why you're seeing this happen, and that's insightful. It was an instant, um, it was just an instant like, oh yeah, that actually makes sense. I haven't forgiven myself for how I treated mom. And then I went through letting it go, like you had talked about letting it go, identifying the different memories and aspects of all the different things and how I treated her and had to forgive myself for that. And ever since then it's a different. It still frustrates me, but it's not in that it's not coming from that place anymore.
Speaker 1:It's coming from a place of now I have to like I am calmer and I can just discipline, like this is not how you behave that kind of thing, true, yeah, that's.
Speaker 2:That's the case of having a log in your own eye.
Speaker 1:You know that you have to get removed before you can actually see clearly so, as a parent, dave, you had it like how did you deal with um, you know your kids and oh well, you know early on, yeah, I was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's another thing. I've had to forgive myself and apologize to you kids many times because I did just like you just said. It was actually 2003 that I finally had counseling to go and deal with issues that were in my childhood, had counseling to go and deal with issues that were in my childhood. So my you know Angel and I got back together in early 2003 and I had dealt with God and we're dealing with things against my wife so she and I could have a good relationship. I saw the beauty in her again, but I was still carrying things against my parents from my first five years of life that I ended up going to counseling for and getting all that healed nicely.
Speaker 2:It was amazing that experience, how, in just 45 minutes, I dealt with like five years of tragedies and traumas and feeling neglected, feeling abandoned, feeling unlovable, feeling rejected all of that from my first years of first five years growing up. So I, after dealing with that, then I was able to see more clearly and how to be a better father to you guys. But yeah, that was 2003. So you were already about 10 years old and uh, so you were getting on up there. But for that experience I would do the same thing. I would lash out at you guys and over, punish or over. You know not be very kind when it came to correcting you guys, and so that's something I had to learn to let go and then and apologize to you guys over and over and. But after that I don't know if you would recall, if I think, when you were about 16, you know you kind of got an attitude against me over in cool woods, yeah, and then you woke up, woke up with laryngitis.
Speaker 2:So what's your side of the story? What my side of that story? Oh, yeah yeah, you were angry at me and I'm just like lord, I'm walking up the sidewalk. Lord, I don't know what's going on. I just give this over to you and you know. If you want me to do anything, let me know. But he's an adult in my mind and I don't think there's no punishment involved. So, Lord, you do whatever it is that needs to be done.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't, I don't know, I don't remember what the month was, but we went on our San Francisco trip and I remember feeling, you know, high hopes, thinking that I would be able to spend some time with dad and it would just be us.
Speaker 1:And because building you know, you were focused on building Blue Ridge Rentals and the theme, at least for me, was that it seemed and I'm just saying this is what it was back then.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying I don't hold anything against you now, but back then, being a kid and seeing your dad on the phone all the time, coming home and not really spending that much time with you because there's other kids and stuff and not reallyyou know, the only time that we would be able to spend with you was either in the morning time when you started Bible study classes, or when you got home, and then when you did get home, it was just not really that much. There wasn't that much playtime, but at least that's the way it felt. And in I understand it now to building a business and everything but uh, but when you know, when I was 16, we went on the San Francisco trip and I was thinking, okay, this is the time where I'm going to get 100% of you. And what ended up happening? While it was fun, I felt let down because I had put so much hope in thinking like you're not going to be on your phone anymore, and it ended up being that you were on your phone most of the time talking to Casey.
Speaker 2:I was talking to mom. I think it was talking to mom.
Speaker 1:Oh, maybe it was mom, but you were putting out some kind of there was of course something had some fire or something had happened.
Speaker 2:Major with a homeowner and all yeah.
Speaker 1:That was also the time when we had that employee who had been stealing I had to fire while we were in san francisco yeah so but I didn't, like you know, as a kid I don't know that all I'm seeing is that my dad's on the phone all the time and I want to talk and hang out and stuff, and so if when I got back from that trip I was a little, I was pretty upset, mad at you, I'm pretty sure, okay, well, I sorry I was not more attentive.
Speaker 2:That was actually because of what happened during that trip. I had so much wanted to be there and you and I connect and have just this amazing time. And that was the first time because, brent, I never took Brent on a trip. He grew up and went off to the Navy. Before you know I ever came up with the idea of taking everybody on a trip. I mean, me and Brent went to visit the battleship and stuff when you were a little baby and that was interesting in Wilmington here. But no, after that I was.
Speaker 2:So I mean your mother, she hates to be alone and she hated whenever I would go out of town for anything and when I used to work and be a good rich, I would have to take trips and sometimes it was well. For one time it was a week away to Australia, and other times it was, you know, three or four days to Louisiana, two or three days at Seattle. You know, three or four days to Louisiana, two or three days at Seattle, you know, just traveling all the time, and she hated it. So she got to the point where she said let me go with you, let us all go with you. We'll drive if we have to. So it was like very stressful. So she was always like that in terms of not wanting to be alone. So, yeah, when I left, she would be so angry at me or disappointed in that that I wouldn't call her when you and I were going on our trip and she needed to talk to me, she needed to know I was there and it was just like, well, I'm here with Eric, he's my focus, he's the person I'm supposed to be. And after that it was like I mean, there wasn't. If it hadn't been for two like work, major crises type things, then you and I would have been, you know, able to connect a lot more. But I do remember that that drive down san francis, towards san francisco, we're driving and driving past napa valley and all that, and I'm on the phone dealing with this drama with these people, and it's just like, yeah, that was time we could have connected. So I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 2:Also, god has yeah, thanks, yeah, thanks. Well, god has reasons. In fact, I was just talking to somebody today about you know. Oh, there's this escalating war in Ukraine, escalating war in Russia, and now they're shooting these bombs, and these bombs the whole world's going to get it.
Speaker 2:And then then what's going to happen? It's like you know what, I don't care, I'm not concerned about anybody. I mean I'm because I know God's going to take care of people. So when God gives me an instruction, hey, I want you to pray for this person. Right now they're going through a hard time, which happens with you, sometimes, it happens with any of the kids, it happens to strangers, it happens to somebody I may have spoken to a year or two ago. God will say I'll bring them to mind. I want you to pray for this person. So I do that. And then I try to do my best to treat others right and try to give them value. And so when it comes to you know, the trip yeah, it was.
Speaker 2:It was disappointing for me because it was frustrating that I had to deal with these work things and it was not fair to you. And then for the next times, at least one thing I could control was I can text Angel and say you know, hey, I've got you know how you doing, you having a good day. Send that's when we did these little video, these 30 second videos. Just send them around to people so that they would know we're OK and we're doing good and we're having our time together. You were the first test subject on that whole thing. There was a lot of junk thrown at us. That had never happened before. Like I said, the Lord has ways of working things out. I figured that would be a learning experience of some type.
Speaker 2:Years later, I figured there was a reason that he let that happen. It wasn't all my failures, but there were things beyond my control, so that was that. Well, oh, but that was what I was. What I was gonna say, though, because that one incident, you know, was that you had, uh, spoken to me in a way that I did not think I deserved, very, yeah, angry and harsh, and I'm just like, um, god'm going to let this go and give it to you. Let you carry this, because I don't know what to do with this 16 year old. And anyway, you woke up in the morning with laryngitis for the first time ever in your life, and I remember saying hey, you think this has anything to do with the way you spoke to me yesterday, and you kind of smiled and nodded your head. And you kind of smiled and nodded your head and I wondered from your perspective because you couldn't talk right then what you were going through.
Speaker 1:Oh well, I woke up thanking the Lord for not doing something worse than laryngitis. That's why I smiled, because I already knew. I already knew after speaking to you. I knew exactly what I had done and I had to face the consequences. Yeah, I knew I was going to face the consequences, but I was willing to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, that's good. So God has a way of working it out. I'm sure you learned a lesson, and I learned again another notch in the belt of God's faithfulness that I don't have to be the one who solves all the problems. I can let go of anything and let Him do it, and just listen when asking Him what do you want me to do? Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. And then, in this case, it was just like you don't need to do anything, I'll take care of it. Yeah, there's another cool story you feel me tell about the police.
Speaker 1:Oh sure, I mean we, we were almost. We're at our time right now, but if you want to extend it, that we can keep going.
Speaker 2:Oh, our time right now. But if you want to extend it that way, you can keep going. You want to, okay? Well, yeah, that was just another story that you just you start off the whole thing saying how's god worked in your business and your life and taught you this and that. So this is his faithfulness another time.
Speaker 2:So we were, you know, we drove to walmart one night on a friday and we went inside to grab some things I think it was probably some ds. We were looking for something to watch on TV before we went to the Japanese drive-thru. Anyway, I came back to the car and I had had a camera hanging over the seat that was stolen, that was missing, and a tape recorder that I used to listen to the Bible, and that was missing. There was some I don't know, maybe it's something else that was missing, but then the bag of keys to all the properties was missing. So I was okay, losing a camera, okay, somebody robbed me of this. They took the coins out of my coin thing. They, you know, took, you know whatever, all of my tape recorder and recorder, anyway. But then when I saw the keys were missing, I went into full meltdown, panic mode, thinking oh no, I'm responsible for the safety or security of these people's homes that we're managing. And now, all of a sudden, I've let the keys be stolen. And now they can just look on and see the name on the key and see you know, figure out on our website what the house looks like. They can wander around and figure out everything based on the location and they can go rob the houses. And I was just like torn up with that.
Speaker 2:And so that night I went into prayer mode and said, lord, I'm devastated. Can you help? Can you figure? I don't know what to do. I figured I was gonna have to pay to have all these houses rekeyed, which is gonna be. You know, uh, let's see 75 houses times 100 dollars each house. You know 7,500 bucks, which we didn't have anyway. But anyway, right, as soon as I asked the Lord, can you do anything, he said don't worry, I'll take care of it. And I'm like really, um, okay, well, that took about 50 percent of my stress away because you know, I'd known he's faithful, but this was in 2002. So this was early days of really trusting God, but anyway, he, uh, uh.
Speaker 2:The next day I woke up feeling still a little stressed and nothing happening. What am I supposed to do? What can I do? The Lord said don't worry, I'll take care of it. I'm like, okay.
Speaker 2:Well then Saturday afternoon I got a phone call from a police officer. They said oh, we found your keys and we're just calling to let you know so you can come by and pick them up at the office or the headquarter whatever they call it the station whenever it's convenient. I'm like what? Because when I spoke we did call the police. On that Friday night we had police come out and they met us there and gave a description of what was missing. And he went inside and asked for any footage on the camera. Is there any footage from the parking lot? They said, no, we don't have any cameras toward the parking lot. So they had nothing. And he said there was almost zero chance they'd ever recover anything. And I was like, oh man.
Speaker 2:Well then Saturday afternoon an officer called oh, we've got your keys, you can come by and pick them up. I say well, how did you find them so quick? He's like what do you mean? He said well, I failed. The officer they were stolen last night from Walmart Officer said that that you were unlikely to find them.
Speaker 2:How did you find them and where did you find them? He said, well, we didn't know. I don't know about any missing keys because we wouldn't have heard a report of the keys until Monday morning at the briefing. So we didn't know that. But an officer just happened to be riding around Sagebrush and just had the idea that he needed to check the dumpster to see if there was anything in there, and then he shined the flashlight and saw our key bag sitting there and thought they were valuable and they would be important to you guys. I'm like what. Nobody even knew about it. The officer just got this random idea in his head to look for something in the dumpster, saw the keys and got them.
Speaker 2:And then at Sunday morning we went to the station and picked up the keys and it was like God is good. The Lord has been real good to me. So that's just another thing. You can always trust God, but you got to listen. That's the key. You can carry around worries and anxieties and anxious thoughts, you know, all day long and that's just going to make you stressed out. You're going to have adrenal fatigues and all sorts. But if you just ask God what he wants you to do and just turn every care over to him and listen and let him tell you and ask him questions. So when you say you know I'm feeling this, what is that? Should I be worried? Is there? Are we safe here? We're getting ready to get on a plane. Should we get on this plane? Are we going to be OK?
Speaker 2:Our tire on Sunday this week week, our tire was flat coming, uh, after leaving the house, after picking up a christmas tree on saturday. Yeah, got in the car to leave on sunday and all of a sudden we see the tire pressure is saying it's only 15 psi. So we went back home and pulled up and saw there's a rock in the tire and the tire wouldn't hold air, of course. So I put on the spare and prayed god, are we gonna be okay? He said, yep, you're gonna be fine. Drive to charlotte and drive back to wilmington. So when mom looked at it, she's like um, I don't know about this and anyway. Anyway. I said well, I've already prayed. The lord said it's fine. So she's like okay. So we made it fine and we just changed the tire, plugged the tire today and got it back to normal. So everywhere you go, you got to ask god, if it's okay, if it's just driving across town, which way you want me to go, so that you don't end up getting in a wreck?
Speaker 1:awesome. Well, uh, thank you so much for your time. This is a great episode, and is there anything, any one piece of advice that you, if you were to give and be asked what's one piece of advice for my business or relationship, what would you give, what would you say?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the same thing. But there's one thing that occurred to me to say. But the Lord told me, the one piece of advice is to always be attentive to his voice. He said my sheep hear my voice and they follow me. So that's the one thing in every aspect of life, whether it's your work, or it's your vacation or anything always listen to what God's saying. You need to ask him questions and listen to his answers regarding your work, decisions, your everything decisions, and let him inspire you to move in the right direction. That brings the most fulfillment and prosperity. That would be it.
Speaker 1:Awesome, okay, well, I hope you have a great day and I'll talk to you later on the next time.
Speaker 2:Okay, eric, it's been fun Talk to you later.
