.jpg)
Eric's Podcast
Welcome to Eric's Podcast – a journey through faith, life, and the lessons that shape us. Join Eric as he shares personal stories, reflections, shares insights that inspire hope and encourages. Whether you're navigating life's challenges or seeking motivation this podcast offers a blend of authenticity, inspiration, and thought-provoking conversations.
New episodes drop every week! Don't forget to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell to stay connected on this journey of faith and discovery. Let’s walk this path together.
Eric's Podcast
S2 #3 Embracing New Beginnings: Robby Carlson's Journey Parenting Through Homelessness To Rising Back
Connect with Robby at: https://www.robbycarlson.com/
What happens when a concrete worker by day becomes an evangelist by night, and then finds a passion for writing children's books? This is the fascinating journey of Robby Carlson, who opens up about the trials and triumphs of balancing multiple roles while navigating life's unpredictable challenges. From the struggles of parenting to the heartache of homelessness, Robbie shares how small victories, like nurturing a patch of grass, became symbols of hope and resilience for his family. As we navigate his poignant story, we also uncover the humor and insights that come from Robbie's unique perspective on life.
In a world where change is the only constant, Robby's story is a testament to the courage required to embrace new beginnings. From his family's preparations for a significant move abroad to the cultural adventures of potentially translating his children's book into Japanese, Robbie's journey is as inspiring as it is enlightening. We discuss the universal search for identity, both in children and adults, and the importance of empathy and understanding in fostering strong relationships, even when life throws its toughest curveballs. Robbie's experience highlights the power of faith and the surprising connections that can form through shared adversity.
Throughout the episode, Robby Carlson demonstrates the strength of character and integrity required to thrive in challenging environments. His transition from building management to a career in sanitation underscores the value of patience, trust, and divine timing. Robby's insights into maintaining strong marital bonds through spiritual practices and open communication offer valuable lessons for any listener. As we wrap up, Robbie reminds us that even when life seems to strip everything away, past experiences serve as invaluable foundations for future growth and resilience. Join us for this unforgettable conversation with a truly remarkable individual.
Eric's Podcast.
Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to another episode of the Eric's podcast. I'm your host, eric, and today I am joined with Robbie Carlson. Very nice to be here. Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thanks for having me on your show so I was reading a little bit about your bio and um, I can see here that you're a father for a concrete worker. Uh, by day, by night, you're an evangelist. That's really cool. Um, can you go into a little bit like a little snippet about what that, what that means? I? I also noticed that you wrote six children's book, which is super cool. You can go into a little bit of the experience and all that um, but yeah, what first? Let's let's uh take a step back and let's kind of bring it to it now and um talk about is there anything inspiring or you found really entertaining that happened to you this week or the last couple weeks?
Speaker 2:well recently. So I've been working with the youth for about 15 years and they're they kind of listen to me and for some reason their parents think that I have, like this special God-given ability to have kids listen to me.
Speaker 2:And they don't know why they don't know why that their kids listen to me and not themselves. And they don't know why they don't know why that their kids listen to me and not themselves. And so one day I uh was talking to my boy and he was just like not listening to me, like you're my dad, like what do you know?
Speaker 2:so then I showed him one of my books and I said, hey, what does it say in this book? Oh, that's right, that's what it's supposed to be. But, like I wrote the book, like, what's the difference if it comes from me? Saying it or if it comes from the book, and so it's just that I don't know, I'm just a regular parent and people they just kids don't listen to their parents for some reason.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're going through something similar right now with our three-year-old and it's definitely a challenge but also kind of funny, the excuses and stuff that they'll try to come up with and be like, well, um, you know it, just, this is just the way it goes. I'm like, okay, well, you know, it's not the way it goes now yeah uh, okay, um, so what do you uh like?
Speaker 1:what's your drive in terms of, I know, being a parent? Um, trying to just go through life. I noticed in uh your bio that you talked about going. You guys came, you went through a time of being homeless, with a family and everything. Can you go into a little bit of detail on what led up to that point and how did you get through it and how did you come out on the other side?
Speaker 2:Okay, so at the time I had my wife and I only had two kids at the time and we were trying to become missionaries to go to Japan and we were supposed to raise like a lot of money and we couldn't raise that. We raised about 20% within four years. So what happened was the missionary organization decided to let us go. They're like you know what? We can't actually send you, there's nothing we can do to help you. We're not saying that that's not your calling, we're just saying that it's probably not through us. So they let us go.
Speaker 2:And then shortly after, like a few months later, my boss came in, grabbed all the keys and laid me off of work, and so I was a building manager at the time and I lost my job and essentially, my home because we were living there and they just had a company switch. The new company didn't want to hire me and the old company was like sorry, we got no work, work for you, there's nothing that we can do for you. So in the span of a few months I pretty much lost everything and it was really devastating. You kind of start to second guess yourself and think what like what it is about myself and you start, start to really get really bad, deep depression and deep thoughts. That's not good. So eventually we were just couch surfing and we ended up being on my mother-in-law and her boyfriend's place. They had an extra side room. It was like a room and a little kitchen.
Speaker 2:It was like 400 square feet, but it's not big enough for a family of four at the time, and so trying to go through that was really a struggle and sometimes I thought about ending it. But luckily I had my family there and I'm like what are they going to do if I'm not there? Like how are they going to survive? Like I have to figure it out to get out of here to basically for them. So I just started doing little things, try to get like little wins, and so I was allowed this little patch of grass that I was. It was kind of like our own. There was like a big yard, but I had this little patch of grass and I don't know about you, but I love the feeling of just stepping on like fresh, nice grass with your bare feet.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, like getting grounded almost.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kind of like that, it's just. But I don't like the prickly dry stuff. It's got to be like the fresh soft stuff Soft.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's got to be like the fresh soft stuff. So, yeah, yeah. So I just worked a little bit every day. I was watering it every day just because I I'm like I need a little win in my life right now, and I watered every day and then eventually, you would see that there was this one little green patch of grass amongst the whole field and every and it stood stood out like crazy and I was able to have that moment to be able to be like okay, and it was just a sense of relief to be like okay, I can do this, I can overcome this. It's just sometimes it takes time and you got to take it a day at a time.
Speaker 1:So, um, going back to the um missionary, uh, the pursuit of going, what was that? Something you and your wife were just passionate about from the beginning, or did you guys grow into that?
Speaker 2:How did?
Speaker 1:that come to be.
Speaker 2:Okay, so my wife is a half Japanese and she has a heart for Japan, and so she always wanted to become a missionary over there, and I didn't. We had a lot of fights about it, and then one day I had the opportunity to go to the Philippines for my friend's wedding, so I asked my wife.
Speaker 2:I'm like, hey, would you like to go to the Philippines? And she's like, yeah, and then we could go to Japan while we were there. So I was just like, well, we'll go and get this Japanese bug off of her and then we'll never have to talk about it again. And then it backfired yeah. So while I was in Japan I was looking around and we were on this train and the train is like 14 car lengths long. It's really huge. There were so many people on it. And then I was looking around and I said, wow, I think I am the only Christian in this whole entire train and I just saw this like hopelessness and despair in everybody's eyes and I was really touched and I wanted to reach out to them. And I'm like, wow, that's that's really like hard, like they don't even have the chance to to say no to the gospel. And then my wife on the backend she made it so that we would meet a lot of missionaries on the field. She's a very smart woman.
Speaker 1:That's good.
Speaker 2:So one of the missionaries I was talking to I told him. I said, like, look like I told him that story. And then he looked at me dead in the eyes and he said, more like all of tokyo station and tokyo station has 60 platforms, with trains going both ways every minute and there's moles down there and people walking everywhere. And that's when I was just hit and I said, okay, um, if nobody else is going to do it, and I'll do it that's, that's the way, that's how you do it.
Speaker 1:So you got. So, I'm guessing, after that, um, you went over to the other side and you and your art did you and your, did you start your? How does that work? Like, do um, do you reach out to sponsors or how, cause I'm unfamiliar with how how you would even get started If you, you know, know, if there's a listener listening who does have a passion, how would you go about at least getting started in that process? Like, what is the process?
Speaker 2:The way to get started is to talk to your local church. Most churches have like this, like umbrella of a whole network of churches that they're connected with. So talk to your pastor. And so what my wife did is we talked to our youth pastor and he connected us with an organization that's under the same umbrella that was specifically for missions to unreached areas. And what people don't realize is Japan is the second most unreached country in the world and it actually has open borders, which people are kind of shocked. And so we talked with the missionary organization. We did like a two-year application process so they really like fed us, they go through this whole thing, and then it's a big thing of fundraising. So then we start talking to individuals, we start talking to churches and the missionary organization helps us with that, and we try to align a focus and go through everything. I guess I didn't really explain too well about the Japanese, or the price was too high In order for us to go.
Speaker 1:We needed to raise $11,000 a month with the organization and we were only able to get like 20%. Oh, $11,000 a month. Is that like commitments from people who donate? Or do you need a bigger chunk chunk, say, you're going for a year. You need a bigger chunk to cover the whole year. Is that how it works?
Speaker 2:yeah. So we were going as long-term missions, so it was our organization. The deal was we had to go for about two years and then we'd come back for six months, or we'd have to go for four years and then we'll come back for a whole year. And that six months in the year process is because when you're a missionary and people are giving to you, it's not just you doing the work, it's the body of Christ and everyone working together. And so you got to come back on furlough, and while you're back on furlough, you still need a place in japan or wherever you're at as well. So now you're paying rent in two different locations for like a year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that can. I can see how that's a lot. Um, did you and your wife after, uh, not being able to raise enough? Have you guys ever rethought of just moving over there? Was that?
Speaker 2:ever on the playbook.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the this whole process happened about 10 years ago. It was 2018 when I officially got laid let go with the organization, and the reason why they let me go was because they physically couldn't get us to that country. There was no visa work. They had like 26 visa applications and I actually qualified for none of them, so there was no option for me to go there through visa work, like I could go there as a Canadian and their visa. I'm allowed to go there for like six months for vacation, but that's that's not enough time you can't do that.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:And and so they tried everything that they could. They couldn't. I don't have a uh like a degree, so that was the main issue. So they're like we can't get you a job there because no one will sponsor the visa. We don't have enough money so we can't sponsor you and unfortunately we have to let you go.
Speaker 2:But the cool thing is that when you trust in the Lord and you just keep on relying on his promises, he will reveal himself and reveal stuff. And so as soon as we were let go with the organization, we went to the Japanese embassy just to see what was going on. And because my wife is half Japanese, we're like maybe there's something there. So on our own end, we actually found out that her mom is like less than 1,000 people in the world have a dual citizenship with Japan and because of that my wife is able to go on a special visa. And what we actually needed for that visa was all of this paperwork to be done. And because I got let go of my job and because I got homeless, we actually moved in with my mother-in-law and we were able to get all that paperwork.
Speaker 1:Wow, so okay. Well, what happens next?
Speaker 2:What happens next? So what happens next is we actually needed enough money to be able to go on that, because they don't want us to live off the system, and so we just kept on praying, kept on working hard, being faithful, and the interesting thing was so last year, in the summer in 2023, I just decided to get my family to be praying every night. So me and my four kids and my wife, we just pray every single night and they love it now, and they've been praying for Japan, and this year they actually changed the visa laws and it's most likely that we'll probably be heading over there this year.
Speaker 1:That's awesome, so that has to be exciting though. I mean, you've gone through um, do you feel? How do you feel? Do you feel more prepared, like, do you feel like you're ready? Then you, you were back when you first, when you guys first tried.
Speaker 2:Yes and no. So I feel like we're ready because we've spent the last 10 years like studying the culture, really learning, really understanding what we are going to have to do and prepare ourselves to do. But now we are actually not going to be going under any organization, we're just going to be going on ourself. So we don't have any of that really like background support and we just have a few people that are praying for us and we've had a few people pray for us for the last 10 years and they're super excited to be like well, God is faithful in his prayers in his prayers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's similar to kind of how the disciples got started at the very beginning, before the churches and everything got set up, which is really cool, because you every day can be something life-changing for someone else and if you let the Holy Spirit guide you every day, throughout the day, and lead you, um, I think that, and you don't have the pressures of an organization to have to. What's the word like perform, I guess, because I can cut, I can definitely like you don't like those pressures and stuff in the background. I can see like you wouldn't want that, and this is way better, but also a little more, a lot scarier too, because there's more risk. There's more risk involved, right, but that's all the more reason to rely on the Lord even more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly Like I'll be honest with you, I'm pretty like terrified of the whole situation, but I'm like you know what I know in God's promise. I know he wants me to go there, and he also promises that he closes the flowers, he feeds the sparrows, and how much more will he do it for us? And so I'm like okay, lord, like I'm putting my life and my family's life on the line for for your glory to show through Exactly.
Speaker 1:Are you going to teach any uh?
Speaker 2:Thai Kwan Do while you're there. I noticed in your bio that you're a black belt. Yeah yeah, I got my, my, my black belt in uh younger years, but uh, taekwondo is a korean martial arts, so I don't know if they'll be well received when I go over there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, uh, that's, that's cool, that's funny. Um, yeah, so that sounds. You said that that's going to happen, possibly next year.
Speaker 2:You said to go over there possibly, possibly this year, we're getting all of our paperwork organized. We kind of figure out, figured out where we're going to be going and, yeah, we're just going to apply this year and see what happens are.
Speaker 1:Have you thought about this is just a random thought, but have you thought about um translating your children's book into, uh, japanese? Yeah, actually we have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so my, my wife, uh, she has her, her grandfather, who lives in japan. If we can like actually reach out to him, he's actually a translator, so it'll would be nice if we could pay him to translate the books.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that would be awesome, because then you already have a gift that you can just give out. Yeah, I really like that. So you have been working with children in the children's ministry for 15 years. Um, what is something that you see in kids that's pretty, that's like the most common thing and yet, um, as parents, we probably don't realize what it is.
Speaker 2:I think the most common theme that I've noticed is that kids at that age are looking for their identity.
Speaker 2:They're trying to figure out who they are, where they fit, fit in a sense of kind of like loss, almost. It's a really weird growing experience, and one of the things that I realized with parents is, for some reason, they just forget their beginning stages of life and they don't really remember how it was like when they were that age, like when they were that age, yeah, and so it kind of makes it more of a challenging. I even noticed in my life when I had some like when I had my kids like newborns, and we're trying to like raise them and it's just going crazy. And my, my dad, he's like how come you don't call me enough? And I had to tell my dad I'm like dad, like do you not remember when you were my age and you were spending all those hours trying to get stuff going and and prepare for your family? Oh, that's right, I forgot about that, and so it's just a reminder for myself, especially to always remember where we came from.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think, um, I know for me, cause I have a three-year-old and a one-year-old and when I first started the company that we're running now, four years ago, our first had just been born. And I remember thinking, rationalizing, saying I need to get this done. I know I'm gonna, I'm just gonna, uh, and I, we, my wife and I we had talked and she was like, yeah, you go do it. And in my mind I'm thinking, okay, I'm gonna spend 15 hour days at the office, come in. I basically didn't see for a year. I didn't see the development of my one-year-old.
Speaker 1:And after that year, of course, you know you're trying to build a business. It's not going to be built in a year, and I knew that. But I also knew that the foundation of it I could probably build in a year, like a foundation part, and then I could let off and redo it. And I did end up doing that. But I missed out on a bunch of first things and I'll never be able to get those back Except through watching video. But that's different, you're not there to experience it. That's different, you're not there to experience it. And so when we had our second kid, I'm like we have to get structure. There has to be work-life balance here and that's when things changed.
Speaker 1:I think I know for me working in the children's ministry, and I think you're absolutely right they are searching for their identity, um, but a lot of them it's interesting because I found out, I found like they're also longing, longing to be loved, and, and I think as parents it's easy to get really caught up, at least for me, in the. I need to mold you to be the person that you're going to become. I need to make sure that you have the tools in your tool belt so you can tackle this world and not be swept away in it, and I think that's really hard. That's something that, for me, I have to keep reminding myself. But then, on the other side.
Speaker 1:It's like well, you still have to discipline and structure, but you also have to do it in love. But sometimes to them it's not going to come across as love, even though you're trying to do as love and you try to explain it but it's not coming that way, like that's what's hard for me as a parent.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so one of the things that I heard when I was doing the missions there's this preacher and he was saying how we get our identity from our father and that's how we see Jesus, or how we see God is how our earthly father treated us. So if we had an earthly dad who was very distant, then we feel like God is distant and we can't relate some stuff like that. So what I took from that is like, wow, how my kids view me is how they're going to view God.
Speaker 2:And I got to do the best that I can to resemble like Jesus so that I can help them with their identity and that they have their identity. And I try my best. I fail a lot. I'm not perfect.
Speaker 1:I'm not Jesus. That's a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2:It is a lot of pressure and I really try to resemble that with love and kindness and show them who that is. And one of the other things that I also tell myself is how time kind of have you noticed as you got older, time goes by a lot faster. Oh, 100% Right. So time goes faster as you get older and that's what people are like worried about, like, oh no, I'm running out of time, it's going to be the end soon, but you also got to remember for them.
Speaker 2:time is really really slow, so 10 minutes 10 minutes for me will go by really quickly, but 10 minutes for them is a long time, and so just sit with a 10 minute mindset of I'm going to spend 10 minutes with you is like the world for them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's um. So what do you so? Yeah, that's a great point. The, um, the time difference yeah, that's something that should be like clacked on the wall somewhere. Remember Eric time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a big thing, and I always tell my kids as well, like to forgive me, like I'm sorry for things, like if it seems unfair it might be. It's just that I'm still learning as I'm doing this. And I tell that with my oldest one as well, because I'm like look, you are pretty much my training ground for being a parent. Like I didn't know how to do this before you came along.
Speaker 1:And they for some reason think that we've just moved here and we found out that we were going to have him and it was our first. I went into a like I have all this stuff and like, oh my goodness, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna be a dad. How am I, how am I gonna be a dad? I can't be a dad. I don't know. The first thing about he's being a dad I'm. He's gonna be looking up to me. I'm gonna be responsible for his action, for like who he becomes. I don't know if I even like me in the first, in the first place.
Speaker 2:Uh, yeah and it's the craziest thing, how you look at yourself and you're just like man. I'm so frustrated with these things, of these character flaws that I have, and yet your child will look at you like you are God himself and that you are the best perfect being ever. Like my dad can walk so well. I still have a hard time trying to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think another thing that I know, um, we we're is like because it triggers it, like triggers me. It's because I'm trying to deal with it, I'm trying to you know, in within myself, and then I see it coming out and then I have to breathe. Eric, take a breath. This is your. This is like your frustration with yourself. You're not. This isn't like, don't let it come out on your kid, and I've made that mistake way too many times.
Speaker 2:You know the quick responses and I didn't come back and be like I'm sorry I was, I yelled at you but oh, my word yeah, I had, uh, I think it was like last year, my boy, we have this thing at school called hot lunches and so we give him money and he's supposed to give it to his teacher, and it was like the last day and he forgot to give the money to the teacher. I'm like buddy, like now we have to go back and you have to go give it to the teacher, and he's like no, no, like I would rather not have to go through that embarrassment of like forgetting and I said no, no, we have to do this because this is a bad character flaw and I know it's bad because I have the same problem.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sometimes we're we're more worried about our reputation than actually getting a hot lunch and getting what we deserve.
Speaker 1:Yeah, why do you think that is? Why should we care about necessarily what other people? I mean something as simple as oh, I forgot to give the lunch money. Like I mean something as simple as oh, I forgot to give the lunch money. Like in hindsight, kind of like um, you know, that's not a big, that's not such a big deal. Why do you think these? I mean for a kid, I suppose it would be. Yeah, why do you think that is?
Speaker 2:yeah, so I actually wrote it in one of my children's books called the Superpower you Were Born With, and what people don't remember is that we actually have a superpower that we were born with, and that superpower is to be childlike and we're a culture that is obsessed with trying to be perfect.
Speaker 2:But we weren't born to be perfect, we were born to fail forward. So as you look at your kids, you just remember that you were there at one time as well. So, like my kids is now learning how to walk, but they trip. And then I helped them back up and they're taking step at a time. It's not like that they fall down. They're like well, I'm never going to walk again, they just keep on going. If you're teaching your kid how to ride a bike, they'll fall down and then you encourage them. No, we got to get back up and keep on going through these failures, through these hurts, through these pains, because that's how we get better.
Speaker 1:And if you have this perfect mentality, then you never grow and you'll be just stuck where you're at. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah, I agree, I 100% agree with that. Always get back up. I think my first go-to, especially in super challenging situations and when I like I've had businesses fail, I've had projects fail and I don't know how I'm going to pay for rent this next month, stuff like that, and it's just find a quiet place, get on your knees, cry out to the Lord and then wait and listen, you know, find a still quiet spot. And I think and that has never failed and I've talked about it in previous episodes. But I know I noticed that in your bio you, there's a snippet of a little snippet about receiving some sort of prophetic insight about your marriage. I also as something similar happened to me, but I would be curious on what your story is around that Um, was it? Yeah, I'm curious. What's your story around the prophetic insights out? How did that happen? Was it through somebody? Was it directly to you?
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, I well actually wrote it. Uh, we, we wrote it and we framed it. Oh cool, yeah. So the story was I went to Bible college and I came back. So while I was at Bible college, someone said to me or one of the teachers said to the class, but it resonated with me he's like, look, if you search for God first, then he will provide you a spouse, because he knows what you need, he knows where you're at. And so I took this to heart and I'm like okay, lord, I'm going to search for you first, so now give me my spouse.
Speaker 2:And it didn't work that way give me my spouse and it didn't work that way. So then, after when I left the school, I was just like just kind of like really shocked, shooketh, and I'm like, okay, Lord, you know what. I just want you, I'll be okay being single for the rest of my life. And then my wife shows up at church and I just instantly knew that she was the one who I was going to get married to and I was like, wow, like this is weird, Like Lord, like I just said that I'm okay being single.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm okay being single and then you're doing this to me.
Speaker 2:I'm like you should have put her in my life like a month ago.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:And so when I came back from the school I was gone for a year my wife started attending that church while I was gone. So when I came back, like everybody knew me and everybody knew her, but we just didn't know each other, and so she spent that time trying to get to know me. I thought it was her trying to uh, uh, that she was like um, was, she was pursuing me. It's what I thought. And so I'm like, okay, what's what scares girls away the most? Ah, my personality the most. Ah, my personality. I'll just show her who I am. And she's just going to say no. And so I showed her my personality and it backfired.
Speaker 2:So what happened was after Bible college, and because I only wanted to be with the Lord, I started to write a journal for every day of my life and I was saying you know what? God's going to do such great things for me. I'm going to write a book about it so that people can experience it, and then I could sell the book for lots of money. After a month I stopped writing. I just kind of gave up on it. But during this month is actually when I was meeting my wife, and so one day when we were. We went to like a youth event, so I was helping out my buddy with the youth and she was there and I drove her home and my friend was with me and I told my friend at night. I said you know what, I think I'm going to get married next year and I think I'm going to get married to that girl. I didn't even know her name.
Speaker 2:And my buddy was like, oh dude, like if you get married next year, like that's not far away, but if you get married to that girl, I'm going to freak out. So I wrote it in my journal and then afterwards we ended up getting engaged and my wife decided or my then fiance decided to go through all my stuff thinking that it was okay because we're going to get married. And so she found this, because I completely forgot about it and she framed it. And when I said that to my friend it was like, literally to the day, a year later we got married.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's amazing yeah, I could read it to you if you'd like, but you got to it's unedited, so it's bad grammar, and it was a 20 year old who wrote it goes.
Speaker 2:Bullets my only weakness, but instead of bullets it's women. Actually, I think I'm weak against bullets too. So bullets and women my only weaknesses. Well, I have another weakness, but I'll get to the point. I don't even drink coffee. And I said yes. Last night I was talking to my friend about her all night long. I would stay soft, like I'm going to get married next year. My friend laughed and told me that a year is not far away. Then I was like she is going to be the one that I marry. He said if I got married next year he would be happy for me, but if I married her next year he would trip out. Is this the Holy Spirit prophesying or me saying nonsense? Well, today I talked to her and one thing thing led to another and we are engaged. Ha ha, just kidding, she doesn't drink coffee either.
Speaker 2:So next thing led to another, and we were going to take the SkyTrain to God knows where and God knows what, and we're going to do this Tuesday. And so what we ended up doing for a date the next day was we got on the SkyTrain and I said okay, I'll pick the stop and you pick the destination. So I just picked up a stop and then our first date was at Home Depot Nice.
Speaker 1:Home Depot the good dating spot for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thought for sure, yeah, and it's cool how God was able to do that in my life, like even in my prideful arrogance of me wanting to write a book about my life and how to make money, I was able to do that one little prophecy and it really helped me. Whenever I'm struggling with my wife, like wherever we're fighting, and I just reflect saying like no, no, no, no, god has ordained this like I've written it down, it's reassuring to me and it reminds me of the verse where he talks about when I said put join together a man and woman, let no man separate. And so I'm like, okay, god has joined us together yeah, yeah, we've had it's very similar.
Speaker 1:It'll not the same thing, but similar in terms of, uh, one of the things that we do is, every time we're frustrated or mad at each other, you don't want to have any like physical type of, you don't want to hug, you don't want a little kiss on the cheek, you don't want to do that. And so what we started doing a couple years ago, um, is we would break the ice and hug or a kiss on the cheek or whatever. And, oh my man, that it works so so well because it's like you know, the our, our, our, we're not enemies. You know, the enemy is the, what you're can't see. What's the, it's the powers and principalities and it's those trying to break you up and trying to keep you apart, and so you break that to come back together, and then any argument suddenly just turns into a.
Speaker 1:And the thing is, most of the time, I've found that most of the time, it's not Both people are right, it's just a different way of it's how you're saying it, like I don't actually have a problem with what it's, just I'm receiving it in a weird way and I feel like that's a lot of what. Yeah, okay, for sure, some things might be annoying and you might be holding a grudge and it's rubbing you the wrong way and you have to let it go. That's true. But I feel like a lot of stuff is just different points of view coming out at a different angle or a different way, and neither party is willing to stop and ask more about. Okay, I, or repeat the question back, say this is what I heard you just say. Is this is that really what you mean? Because most of the time it's not and they'll rephrase it.
Speaker 2:But you get so caught up yeah, definitely, with time you grow because, like, the funny thing is like your spouse knows you the best and when they talk about something it's usually an insecurity of our own and we don't want to address it. And it's kind of like what they say don't look at the log in someone else's eye, look at the speck in your own else's eye, look at the speck in your own. But the thing is, when you are married and you're one, when you look at each other, it's a speck in both of your guys's eyes that you're trying to get out yeah, that's true, that's true yeah, but one.
Speaker 2:One of the things that I like to also encourage is that when you go through these battles with your spouse and you go through these like trials of, like hardship, instead of looking at it like, oh, this is hard and I should get out, it's more of a, this is a time for us to have a better bonding experience. So my wife when we first got got married, her parents are not christian. She's the only christian in her family and that's one of the things that attracted me to her, because I knew that her faith was authentic.
Speaker 2:And so her family was like don't get married, go and live with each other first, figure out if you like each other and then just move on. And we decided like no, we're going to make the decision that it's just going to be us and we're going to work through this. And because we made that decision and said death to all other options, when we came to that homelessness area I never felt my wife was going to leave me and we were going to work through it. And these were just things in our life that built us to be stronger together. It's kind of like when the army guys, when they're fighting on the beaches of Normandy, like when they're in the foxhole, that person that they're next to is like their best friend and they have like a relationship with them that they will have with nobody else. And if we stop going into those foxholes then we can't really build that relationship with the one who we love.
Speaker 1:How did the uh kids I'm guessing the kids were pretty young when you, when you guys were dealing with um couch surfing and all that, how did like, can you go into a little on you and your emotional state back then, because I could only imagine that it was pretty tough, especially. Well, I mean, I guess you guys had friends offering their couches and stuff like that. That you guys got back up on your feet but emotionally how did you deal with that?
Speaker 2:so my boy was like two and a half three at the time and my second, my girl, she was just like a newborn, six months to about a year. So they don't actually remember any of the experience at all. So that's good for them. It was just a hardship for my wife and I. It was just so cramped and we couldn't even really have any intimacy between each other because it's just so cramped and we had nobody. The funny thing about you saying that we had friends willing we actually didn't really have friends willing.
Speaker 2:Before I became a missionary I had a lot of friends and everybody was like cheering us on, like yeah, you're going to go to Japan, you're going to do great. But as soon as I got accepted with the organization and started fundraising, they just all disappeared. Organization and started at fundraising, they just all disappeared. And it changes the aspect, because now people think of you as like you're this holy being and you're like no, I'm just a regular person like you. There's no difference. I just kind of decided that I wanted this as a career, I guess. So they start viewing you differently and they start distaning themselves from you. So because of that, there was this distance. So we went to my mother-in-law and we stayed with her for about three or four months and it was just really damaging. But you just keep on pursuing the lord and you're like, look like I have to hold strong on the faith because he's pretty much all I have. If I didn't have him, if I didn't have my kids, I probably would have ended it. And you keep on trying to do these little wins. And you keep on doing these little wins to kind of help you get out of that mindset, whether that little win is like I'm going to brush my teeth every day and then after a week you're like I'm going to now floss my teeth every day and then I'm going to use mouthwash, like you just do these little things. I ended up writing one of my first short stories. That was horrible, but I needed that time to get these little wins, to show myself that I am adequate and to tell myself that I can get through these things.
Speaker 2:And then afterwards we went to my parents' place and we just had like a room for the four of us. It was like super tight and we just needed to get our own place, and so finally we were looking for a place to live and someone accepted us, even though I didn't have a job, and I was really, really shocked because when I was a building manager I wouldn't have hired me. I'm like sorry, it sucks to be in your situation, but I can't help you. And so they were.
Speaker 2:Somebody eventually went, we were able to have like enough money to pay for like the first month's rent and then I tried my heart to get like whatever job that I could, to just keep on paying rent and eventually I got into sanitation and the reason why I decided to change career paths Because I said, look, I could go back into building management, but now if I lose my job, I might lose my home again. Well, if I go into a separate career path, if I lose my job, at least I still have my home. But if I lose my home, then at least I still have my job. It's not, they're not connected.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And then when you go through the sanitation place the first week was like the hardest it's like wow, like where has my life gotten me into? What is this? And then after that you start seeing the money come in and you're like you know what.
Speaker 1:Not that bad. I mean, what do you mean by that? The first week? Was it just like really hard work, or was it?
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:I was cleaning.
Speaker 2:I was cleaning porta potties. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I've been in some pretty nasty ones.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So when I was in that situation, I just decided to myself I'm going to do the best that I can, I'm going to do the best job that I can, I'm going to do the best service. And eventually I got to the point. I was there for about a year. I got to the point where customers were fighting to have me at their sites.
Speaker 2:And when I would go to sites, people would line up and wait for my job to be done. They would apologize if they were in my way, but most of the other people who are working there, they're just being treated like the product that they were working on. Being treated like the product that they were working on and with that I learned a big value of just having integrity with your work, doing the best that you can, being nice to people but not being like a stepping stone, still having a raw oomph. So, for example, I wouldn't fight people if they went into one of the toilets while I was there. I would knock and ask them nicely to get off, get out, because I need to clean it, and if they didn't listen, I just simply didn't clean that toilet and I went on to the next one.
Speaker 2:And then eventually people learned like, oh, we want these toilets to be clean and this guy is so nice and he's not fighting us. So they just ended up leaving me alone, being nice and respectful and just have a smile on your face, and people start to look at you and they wonder why you have such a joyful life while you're in such a bad position and they think that you're like on some sort of drug. But you just keep on having that mentality going through and you'll notice that the people around you will start to be affected and then in turn it starts to affect you and makes your mood better.
Speaker 1:And so it's just step-by-step, day-by-day, doing these little wins, doing the best that you can remembering like, hey, no, I can do this because I've done this and you, eventually you to get started with something. But yeah, especially for coming back up, or building yourself back up from the ground, and I think we're going to go ahead and start wrapping the show up a little bit. What does the future hold for you? I know that you mentioned you might be probably going to Japan this year, which is exciting.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So the future. What holds for me for the future right now is, yes, you got to also trust in the Lord and focus on what his promises are for you. But I've learned that I can't just be like, okay, I'm going to Japan and neglect everything else. So my focus right now is to work on my children's books to get them out there. They're a little bit like self-help kind of thing and I'm working on that. At the same time, I'm going to be applying to Japan and then, once I get accepted we have about three months and then we got to fly out there. So we're kind of preparing to go, but we're also preparing if it's not our timing because that's what I've learned in the past and trying to be like, okay, what are we going to do? And God's like great, now I want you to go and give up everything. So then we'll go do that. I want you to go and give up everything.
Speaker 1:So then we'll go do that. Yeah, the um wait until he opened the door. This is I've I've talked about this in the past where, um, if you try to just barge in and it's not ready yet and God hasn't finished, then you're barging into like an on like a construction site and it might not go too well for you, but if you be patient and wait on him because and bible says, wait on the lord if you be patient and wait on him, um, he'll open the door and it'll be set up for you. Um, so, yeah, that's, that's, that's great. Uh, do you have any books or podcasts or anything that are? That are some of your favorites that you like?
Speaker 2:am I allowed? Am I allowed, to say my favorite book is the bible, or do I need to pick something?
Speaker 1:you can say yeah, you can say whatever you want, yeah. So one of the ones my favorite book is the Bible, or do I need to pick something else?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can say whatever you want, yeah. So one of the ones, my favorite book, is the Bible, and I like to read it over and over again, one of the things that I feel like I do differently and I encourage people to do. When you read the stories of the people, really reflect and know that they're real people, and I try to read it so that I'm like what are they experiencing right now? How are they feeling in this situation? What are some other ways that they could probably get out of it? Or how would I be in that situation? And that's how I really learn and grow is just saying, okay, how can I apply this to myself? And then I look at the people. I'm like, wait, no, these are just regular people. If God can use them, why can't he not use me?
Speaker 1:I love that. What's the main in your opinion.
Speaker 2:What's the main takeaway that the viewers should take from this episode? I think the main takeaway is to, even though, if everything is kind of stripped from you and you have nothing, to know that you are not at zero, you still have all those past experiences that you can build upon. You are a different person, you're bigger, you're stronger and to just keep on growing from where you're at and to never think that you're at zero and that there's nothing left for you.
Speaker 1:And how can the listeners find you, help you with your business or whatever? How can they find you connect with you, reach out?
Speaker 2:The best way to find me is robbycarlsoncom. That's where all my books are at. If you want to have a copy for yourself, you could just go to any local bookstore and ask for them, and if you can't afford them, then go to your local library and ask them to get you a copy.
Speaker 1:Awesome, Robbie. Thank you so much for joining me. It's been a pleasure. Maybe we can have you back on in another episode. Thank you so much have a great one, you too goodbye.
